Angry

Trey's 1st outfit. Made by his Uncle. Too bad it got puked on right away.

Here's Trey right after he got the feeding tube in. He did pretty well getting it in - didn't yell too loud! 

I had to get out of the room. One more hour til the nightmare nurse is off shift...
She's sweet, of course, but she's torturing my baby.
It was a long night.
Getting out of the way that my adrenaline has worn off and I'm straight tired, and that I have an ulcer because I would only take Ibuprofen (you'd think I'd learn since this is like my 5th ulcer!). Then this nurse overrides the doctors orders and insists that Trey isn't getting enough food.
I've been nursing him so there's not an easy way to quantify his ounce intake. When he takes a bottle, he rarely eats the full amount. He's supposed to be up to 35mls. He's only eaten that much once, when we MADE him... his stomach was so bloated afterwards, and he had violent hiccups. He squirmed constantly in his sleep. I asked the nurse (yes, this same one) to tilt his bed up. It's always been tilted up. He was stuffed and I didn't think he should lay flat. She said no, because eventually, when he goes home he's supposed to sleep on his back. Within 10 minutes he spit up all over himself. That was the only time he's spit up. An aha moment for me and Blue, who both didn't feel great about forcing him to eat 35mls when he seemed full at 27mls, etc...
Back to tonight. The nurse insists that I stop nursing because we need proof that he's eating enough since he's only 34 weeks. I tell her the doctor said that as long as his urine output is high and he's growing they don't worry. If his urine gets low then they will know he's not getting enough. She can't handle it! No, she says, we need more than that. She comes back in a while and says she's going to wake him up 2hrs early and feed him a bottle since he only nursed 5 minutes. I told her I have a lot of milk - you'd be surprised what he can get in 5 minutes, and even though it may not have been a lot, the doctor told me that if he wakes up early on his own, feed him. That's what nursing babies do - eat whenever they are hungry.
This anal nurse left and talked to the resident. Comes back and makes him wake up to eat a bottle. We force down 17mls. She then says if he doesn't eat 30mls from a bottle the very next feeding - which is in less than 2 hrs, she's going to put a tube in him. I was so stressed. Blue asked her if she's weighed him yet - something she was supposed to do earlier. No.
I reminded her that he pooped his last 3 diapers. He's peed enough. The doctor JUST told me she didn't think he'd need a tube because his urine output was great.
Long story short, nurse lady gets upset when Blue can only force down 21mls the next feeding. Blue noted that he wasn't too tired to eat (the nurse thinks he's getting too exhausted to eat). He just seemed full. He didn't want anymore. She said, "21mls is good, but it's not 30mls. Baby's are supposed to get 30mls so I am going to put in a tube now." I was so upset.
She stuffed a tube down his throat and then weighed him! Imagine her surprise when he'd gained weight. So my baby is pooping, peeing, gaining weight, nursing and bottle feeding --- and this psycho tubes him.
THEN she forces him to eat 33mls, though he spits up on her twice. I watch and tell her he looks really full. I tell her he NEVER eats that much. She insists that he needs it and pushed the last 2mls through his tube. Then she leaves.
He won't fall asleep. Then he PUKES all over. Not spit up - this is major throw up. I yell for her to come see. Again, that shocked look. I clean him up and she says she'll put a "note in his chart," whatever the heck that means.
And right now, it's 6am. I bet she's warming up another 35mls to try to burst his stomach with. I am so pissed.
I can't believe a nurse can override doc's orders in such a short amount of time, without physical evidence that the child needs it.
I am once again having to pull out that fighter voice for my Trey, when people who are more medically educated won't listen. It's hard for me. I don't want to be rude to the professional! But my poor child's feeding tube is yelling at me to speak even more loudly!
I better get back and regulate this well meaning, legalistic nurse. I will post pics of the tube soon.
SOOO MAD!!

This was RIGHT before he puked! He had a strange look on his face and would not settle down. I wanted to capture it on film, since it was so different than anything he'd done. Didn't realize it was the pre-puke behavior.