Thursday, July 22, 2010

Angry


Trey's 1st outfit. Made by his Uncle. Too bad it got puked on right away.
Here's Trey right after he got the feeding tube in. He did pretty well getting it in - didn't yell too loud! 
I had to get out of the room. One more hour til the nightmare nurse is off shift...
She's sweet, of course, but she's torturing my baby.
It was a long night.
Getting out of the way that my adrenaline has worn off and I'm straight tired, and that I have an ulcer because I would only take Ibuprofen (you'd think I'd learn since this is like my 5th ulcer!). Then this nurse overrides the doctors orders and insists that Trey isn't getting enough food.
I've been nursing him so there's not an easy way to quantify his ounce intake. When he takes a bottle, he rarely eats the full amount. He's supposed to be up to 35mls. He's only eaten that much once, when we MADE him... his stomach was so bloated afterwards, and he had violent hiccups. He squirmed constantly in his sleep. I asked the nurse (yes, this same one) to tilt his bed up. It's always been tilted up. He was stuffed and I didn't think he should lay flat. She said no, because eventually, when he goes home he's supposed to sleep on his back. Within 10 minutes he spit up all over himself. That was the only time he's spit up. An aha moment for me and Blue, who both didn't feel great about forcing him to eat 35mls when he seemed full at 27mls, etc...
Back to tonight. The nurse insists that I stop nursing because we need proof that he's eating enough since he's only 34 weeks. I tell her the doctor said that as long as his urine output is high and he's growing they don't worry. If his urine gets low then they will know he's not getting enough. She can't handle it! No, she says, we need more than that. She comes back in a while and says she's going to wake him up 2hrs early and feed him a bottle since he only nursed 5 minutes. I told her I have a lot of milk - you'd be surprised what he can get in 5 minutes, and even though it may not have been a lot, the doctor told me that if he wakes up early on his own, feed him. That's what nursing babies do - eat whenever they are hungry.
This anal nurse left and talked to the resident. Comes back and makes him wake up to eat a bottle. We force down 17mls. She then says if he doesn't eat 30mls from a bottle the very next feeding - which is in less than 2 hrs, she's going to put a tube in him. I was so stressed. Blue asked her if she's weighed him yet - something she was supposed to do earlier. No.
I reminded her that he pooped his last 3 diapers. He's peed enough. The doctor JUST told me she didn't think he'd need a tube because his urine output was great.
Long story short, nurse lady gets upset when Blue can only force down 21mls the next feeding. Blue noted that he wasn't too tired to eat (the nurse thinks he's getting too exhausted to eat). He just seemed full. He didn't want anymore. She said, "21mls is good, but it's not 30mls. Baby's are supposed to get 30mls so I am going to put in a tube now." I was so upset.
She stuffed a tube down his throat and then weighed him! Imagine her surprise when he'd gained weight. So my baby is pooping, peeing, gaining weight, nursing and bottle feeding --- and this psycho tubes him.
THEN she forces him to eat 33mls, though he spits up on her twice. I watch and tell her he looks really full. I tell her he NEVER eats that much. She insists that he needs it and pushed the last 2mls through his tube. Then she leaves.
He won't fall asleep. Then he PUKES all over. Not spit up - this is major throw up. I yell for her to come see. Again, that shocked look. I clean him up and she says she'll put a "note in his chart," whatever the heck that means.
And right now, it's 6am. I bet she's warming up another 35mls to try to burst his stomach with. I am so pissed.
I can't believe a nurse can override doc's orders in such a short amount of time, without physical evidence that the child needs it.
I am once again having to pull out that fighter voice for my Trey, when people who are more medically educated won't listen. It's hard for me. I don't want to be rude to the professional! But my poor child's feeding tube is yelling at me to speak even more loudly!
I better get back and regulate this well meaning, legalistic nurse. I will post pics of the tube soon.
SOOO MAD!!
This was RIGHT before he puked! He had a strange look on his face and would not settle down. I wanted to capture it on film, since it was so different than anything he'd done. Didn't realize it was the pre-puke behavior.

11 comments:

Rennie said...

How can they force you to feed your own baby!? Just refuse Kelly. Tell them you don't want her as your nurse. I would be pissed off too!

Lauren Porter said...

I was told by nursing friends that you have the right to ask for another nurse. People do it all the time. Find one that you like and do not feel back for standing up for your son, you are his voice- let it roar!!!!

Andy and Mary said...

Wow! I just caught up on your blog. Amazing! I'll be praying for all of you. My baby is still in the PICU. Just the day before yesterday we spoke to the nurse manager and had he give us another nurse. the one we had was seriously a danger to my son and the other child who coded that same night.

congratulations on your sweet little one. I can't express how happy I am for you.

Alicia said...

I would be very angry too. I would ask for a different nurse and get that tube out soon. That is so sad. Speak up for your baby, but I know you already were as it sounds in this post. I hope things go better for you and little Trey today.

Bri said...

I'll bet she got the change of order from a doctor over the phone, but she still sucks because you're not feeling heard. Yup, get a new one for sure. I'm sure she is following the procedures of the NICU as she sees them, but Trey is YOURS. You have waited so long for him, and been through hell and back. The squeaky wheel gets what she wants in the hospital!

Jill and Cameron said...

Holy crap take her down a peg or two and fast!! You and Blue are his advocate, and if you think he doesnt need a tube or to be force-fed, tell her to get his doctor on the phone, he is the DOCTOR...she is not. I'm so sorry, some people out there are just mean and dont know how to listen. GOOD LUCK and if you need anything(like a hit man! HAHA) you know where I am!!

Robin said...

Go get her Kelly. You and Blue know what's best for Trey. Your intuition helped save his life. Doctors and Nurses don't always know what's best. I am so mad for you.

Anonymous said...

I HATE that nurses can do whatever they want and get around the doctors.. more importantly, YOU his parents! I am so sorry Kelly. You seriously need to ask for another nurse. Don't feel bad about it, you know what your baby needs and doesn't need. I got heated just reading this!

- Kendyl

Frankie and Krista said...

Kelly My biggest baby weighed 5 lbs. They were all 4 weeks early and I breastfed only. Don't let them make you stop. My babies only nurse for 5 to 7 minutes because I have so much milk and then they are very full. My babies throw up when the hospital tries to give them more in a bottle too Stay strong! If he is doing great on your milk be confident in it :)

Anonymous said...

ugh~! kelly, that stinks. i always tell my kids, when somebody does something you don't like just tell them to BACK OFF! haha, i know you will. can't wait to see you.xo
~Mary

S. and A. Millar said...

Kelly you need to listen to your mothers intuition and do what your gut tells you! A mothers intuition is stronger than any medical profetional doing what they have been taught treating every baby the same instead of treating each baby on a case to case basis. You are Trey's voice, since he doesn't have one right now! You stick to your guns and if you have to get rude for someone to listen thats what you have to do! I can't stand power hungry people! When Brooklyne was 3wks and in the hospital we had a nurse that totally was a bad nurse and we told the Dr. we didn't want to have her as a nurse any more, and we didn't see her again! So you may want to do that! I'm glad to hear Trey is gaining weight and doing so well. I hope to see you guys again soon! Trey looks soooo cute in his outfit!