There isn't one part of this list I don't agree with
1. First and foremost TALK about the loved one who's passed. Even if it uncomfortable at first, it will become easier.
2. If you didn't know the person at all or very well, ask to hear about them and learn of them through stories.
3. Don't ever put a time line on someone's grief.
4. Saying things like, "They are in a better place," or "This too shall pass..." really isn't comforting. It makes the bereaved feel like the place they had with them wasn't good or that the pain will go away eventually.
5. If you don't know what to say, just say, "I'm SO sorry you have to go through this."
6. If the person needs to analyze the circumstances surrounding the death, let them just talk and rehash anything as many times as they need to.
7. Don't assume they are ever "better." It never gets better and will be a part of them for the rest of their lives.
8. Don't underestimate how frazzled, absent minded & spacey grief can make you.
9. Pamper them if you have means. Retail Therapy works great! So did pedicures and getting my hair done, I felt awful on the inside, at least I could try to feel good about me on the outside.
10. Love notes. Emails. Thinking of You cards. Thinking of the bereaved person cards.
11. Do not, I stress Do not get offended if your loved one doesn't answer his/her phone or return your calls. Don't assume that they don't appreciate your effort. It's just that someone bereaved doesn't want to put on a "happy voice" and burden everyone with their grief.
12. Most bereaved people will not offer information on how they are doing unless they truly feel like youwant to know.
13. Validate.Validate.Validate. Please whatever you do, don't compare your loved ones loss to someone else’s' "harder loss". Every loss is hard. Comparing makes the person feel like they shouldn't struggle because it could be worse.
14. Serve. Even the littlest bit of service makes a huge impact.
15. Just make sure they know you love them. Be a shoulder to cry on.