We delivered our last two babies 10 months apart in the same hospital. In that span of time, one gift was added to the standard packet they give "widowed" parents. It was a book tucked into the folder that the hospital social worker hands out. The tiny book was called A Guide For Fathers When a Baby Dies, by Tim Nelson. He had a stillborn daughter, Kathleen. He said he wrote an article about his experience: "because my wife, Monica and I were the only ones to ever see her, hold her and tell her we loved her, I felt a strong need to share her story with others." That article is in the book as well many helpful notes such as,
The Early Hours
If you Have Other Children
The Arrangements
Going Home
Back To Work
Luckily, my husband found and read this book while we were in the hospital. He was immensely comforted reading someone's thoughts who many times, mirrored his own. He was grateful for the advice and counsel. Even if it's been a while since your baby's passing, I recommend this book for fathers. It's a rare male voice they can identify with.
I'm so thankful that the hospital social worker is never satisfied with current resources and seeks new ones for her patients. Each little resource helps.
You can get a copy of the book by going to http://www.aplacetoremember.com/. A link for it is also under my Helpful Hints section.
2 comments:
I love your new header picture. I am glad you had a book for dads given out in that packet. When Jeremiah passed away they did not have much and they definitely did not have much for help with dads. I think it is great you posted this. Dads go through it emotionally too just in a different way than us moms, but they still suffer the loss of a child as well and it is great they now acknowledge that.
I would love to have our family name added to your blog list! I have 2 blogs our family and Sages blog. I am so sorry for your losses. I have sat and read most of your blog these past few days. I know that their are no words to take away the pain. I understand the pain and heart ache. You are living my greatest fear.....who says lighting does not strike twice who says one is enough. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. Thank you for reaching out to me and wanting to be a friend to me.
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