Monday, November 16, 2009

2nd Annual Walk To Remember, October 24, 2009

Here is the remarkable Susan Friedman, the social worker with Scottsdale Shea who came into my life when we were hit with our stillborn son. She organized this event out of the love in her heart and her need to do something tangible to help grieving families.

My good friend Jeni made my daughter this bow in memory of her little siblings. Butterflies because that's how we often "see" Jackson and purple because it's her favorite color right now.

Once again, the balloon release is a beautiful way to pay tribute. This was after a powerful poetry reading by families who've lost children.

I'm so glad my kids had friends there to play with. I think it helps them a lot not to be alone with such a heavy load.

My friend and I were discussing a button my husband and I made for the babies. I felt so guilty before the walk because I hadn't made a shirt with their names or pictures or something... I felt like I should represent them, take the time. I think that I kept putting it off because I didn't want to face the loss. I kept busy with the family routine and other obligations because the loss is too much to bear daily. But of course the day before there was no shutting it out and then I scrambled to do something. Luckily, a friend suggested buttens. Walmart sells the blank ones and we printed pics out at home and cut them to fit. On the back we wrote, "You held our hands for a fleeting moment, You hold our hearts forever." With their birthdates.
Thanks to the friends and my mom who came to support us and the babies. We gave them buttons too, wanting the walk's purpose to be a little more tangible.

It's amazing how comfortable and talkative my husband is in these settings. He feels right at home because he's free to talk about the loss without being taken weird, or making other's uncomfortable, or even annoying them. Do you ever feel like you aren't allowed to be sad anymore? I actually had someone tell me today basically to just stop with my issues because it's not their problem. Are we in a quick fix society or what?

Susan Friedman brought hundreds of ladybugs for the kids. That was so great for them!

1 comment:

Los Torrientes said...

Awesome! I would have loved to participate. (next year can I? ;) Ami looks so adorable in those pics. Such a proud big sister. The buttons, the bow, all perfect ideas. And I am so sad hearing about the insensitivities you've been shown. I feel really sorry for people like that who just don't get it. Really, their lives suck. I remember hearing all sorts of great things about you before I knew you from Ryan and Tash that showed how sensitive and compassionate you have always been. Those are trademarks of a rich and beautiful life. I hope yours gets easier and more beautiful.