Lightning Strikes Twice: Intimacies with Death

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Intimacies with Death

I am neither defined by my pain

nor chained by my pain;

But I am buffed

and Shine

after the intensity, the brutality of my pain.

1 comment:

Kathleen said...: Beautiful, Kelly!; November 22, 2014 at 9:47 AM

Our Timeline

December 13, 2000 Married

January 31, 2002 Birth of Healthy Son

8 months later, eek! Pregnant Again!

July 29, 2003 Birth of Healthy Daughter

March 2005 Early Miscarriage of twin girls

December 2007, after a long wait for hubby to finish school, a longed-for confirmed pregnancy!

September 7, 2008 39 weeks, Stillborn Son Delivered - rare cord accident

December 2008 Pregnant again - desperate for a living baby

July 8, 2009 30 weeks, Birth of hydropic daughter. She lived only 4 hours.

August 2009 This Blog is Born

July 15, 2010 33 wks Trey Samuel is born with 6 nuchal cords and 2 body cord twists. In NICU only 2 weeks. Perfectly healthy miracle.

August 2011 Pregnant again, Dr tells me to go home and miscarry. I have a subchorionic bleed and early pregnancy won't survive it.

May 5, 2012 A healthy girl shakes her fist at the Sub Chorionic Bleed and enters the world! A small 5lbs, 8oz, yet healthy Harlee Mae Haught.

Save the Date!

October is Baby Loss Remembrance Month, so look for walks and candle light ceremonies near you - or start one of your own!

The last weekend of April we went to Payson for a family retreat with Hospice. It's specifically for families who have recently lost a loved one. It was a great, positive time. The kids thrived wtih other kids who have had to look at death. Ironically, there was a nurse there who had, 25 years ago, lost a son to SIDS. She still cried when she shared about it. I was thankful for her. I was thankful for everyone, their honesty. We are all on a struggle together, no matter the loss we face. The retreat is held twice a year if you are interested.

"...and the infant perisheth not that die in his infancy..." Mosiah 3:18

"The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again."

"All children are redeemed by the Blood of Jesus Christ, and the moment that children leave this world, they are taken to the bosom of Abraham."- The first LDS Prophet, Joseph Smith, said this. Whether or not he was inspired spiritually, he was a father who lost babies as well. He had a stillborn son, twins die at birth, and a baby die in infancy. Somehow, thinking of his family's losses and perseverance gives me comfort.

"And in that day...there shall be no sorrow because there is no death.

"In that day an infant shall not die until he is old; and his life shall be as the age of a tree;

"And when he dies he shall not sleep, that is to say in the earth, but shall be changed in the twinkling of an eye, and shall be caught up, and his rest shall be glorious.

"Yea, verily I say unto you, in that day when the Lord shall come, he shall reveal all things-"

Doctrine and Covenants 101:29-31